How hard is it for us to really forgive someone who has hurt us? As much as I like to think I am a forgiving person, in reality I do hold onto resentment. It is hard to overlook a wrong someone has done to you when the pain is still raw. Sometimes time will heal the wound and you can forgive and forget. Other times it is not so easy. When it appears that someone has hurt you purposely, how do you justify forgiving that person?
Anger, resentment, and bitterness are burdensome emotions to carry around. Forgiveness will free you from the burden of this negative energy, but how do you get there?
First we must realize that all human beings are vulnerable and fragile. A harsh, rude person may not fit that description on the surface, but how did they become that way? What has life dealt them to cause them to put up a protective shield? Children that are unloved may lock their hearts in defense of more hurt. Some people (men) cannot show their emotions any other way then anger, consequently hurting others unintentionally. A person who has been repeatedly cheated may forget how to trust.
In my struggle to forgive, I try to understand the offender a little more and decide if the wrong was really intentional, or just a release of their own pain. I am trying to look past the hurt and find compassion for an individual who may be dealing with unmanageable problems of his or her own. In short, it may not be about me at all. By taking the focus away from my own hurt feelings, I may be able to get past them and find a reason to forgive and mend a relationship that might have otherwise been lost to me. And a relationship is a valuable thing to lose.