Forgiveness

How hard is it for us to really forgive someone who has hurt us? As much as I like to think I am a forgiving person, in reality I do hold onto resentment. It is hard to overlook a wrong someone has done to you when the pain is still raw. Sometimes time will heal the wound and you can forgive and forget. Other times it is not so easy. When it appears that someone has hurt you purposely, how do you justify forgiving that person?

Anger, resentment, and bitterness are burdensome emotions to carry around. Forgiveness will free you from the burden of this negative energy, but how do you get there?

First we must realize that all human beings are vulnerable and fragile. A harsh, rude person may not fit that description on the surface, but how did they become that way? What has life dealt them to cause them to put up a protective shield? Children that are unloved may lock their hearts in defense of more hurt. Some people (men) cannot show their emotions any other way then anger, consequently hurting others unintentionally. A person who has been repeatedly cheated may forget how to trust.

In my struggle to forgive, I try to understand the offender a little more and decide if the wrong was really intentional, or just a release of their own pain. I am trying to look past the hurt and find compassion for an individual who may be dealing with unmanageable problems of his or her own. In short, it may not be about me at all. By taking the focus away from my own hurt feelings, I may be able to get past them and find a reason to forgive and mend a relationship that might have otherwise been lost to me. And a relationship is a valuable thing to lose.

Quote of the Week

“Enjoy when you can, and endure when you must.”

                    Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

The first part of this quote is my philosophy for getting all the enjoyment I can out of life. I try never to pass up an opportunity to enjoy myself, because as we all know, there are many times in life that we will have to endure. Loss, illness, disappointment, and rejection, are all part of our journey, making it all the more important to enjoy when you can.

I wrote earlier about making the positive choice, which I do most of the time. It is worth repeating, as life is shorter than we realize and there are so many opportunities to live, laugh, and enjoy. So many people get caught up in career and family and put enjoyment off until later. Sadly for some, later never comes. I listen closely when an elder person, nearing the end of their life talks with regret of missed adventures and put-off experiences.

My mother-in-law died of cancer at a relatively young age. I had always admired her spotless and well-organized home, her perfectly tailored wardrobe, and her homemade meals. I aspired to be like her. However, after she realized her life was ending, she confided in me that she wished she had not spent so much of her time cleaning house and cooking. Too late she realized she had missed so much of the pleasure of living and would never get the time she spent dusting and scrubbing back.

If someone calls with an invitation on laundry or house-cleaning day, I remember my mother-in-law’s words and put my chores aside and take the opportunity to live. And when tragedy or disappointment happens, I endure with as much strength and grace as I can and allow myself the time to recover and heal.

When times are good we should get all of the enjoyment out of life that we can since we never know when a bad time may come. I will end here as my son has invited me out to lunch, and guess what? I’m going!

Italian Adventure 2011 - Part IV

 

      As our guided tour of Tuscany continued, our group of ten met each morning for breakfast after resting comfortably in our spacious castle suites. I slept soundly surrounded by the thick stone walls that blocked out all sound and light. The experience was medieval and luxurious at the same time. Magic. After breakfast we regrouped and headed out to destinations such as Cortona, Montepulciano, Montelcino, San Gimignano, and Greve. Each town had it’s own charm and beauty.  At the end of the day we went to a local restaurant or returned to the castle for a gourmet Italian dinner. Wow!  

 

       Mid week we decided to have a down day to relax at the castle, or visit the nearby spa, and meet back at the castle in the afternoon for a cooking class with Salvatore and Antonio. I must say under the guidance of these exceptional cooks we prepared an amazing meal that we paired with great wine and lots of wonderful companionship.

On our last day we visited Pienza where we sampled the delicious Pecorino cheese, and Montecino, home of the renowned Brunello wine. To end the day Antonio had arranged a tour, wine tasting and dinner, at the home/winery of his friends. The setting was beautiful, the wine luscious and our hosts were friendly and welcoming. Their stunning hillside winery in the heart of the Brunello wine region was aptly named La Fortuna after it was won by the current owners grandfather in a card game. While we toured the winery with the father and son winemakers, their wives were inside preparing what was to be a delectable dinner. The evening could not have been more perfect for our last dinner as a group. Wonderful memories were made that night.

After seven incredible days we returned to Florence, said goodbye to our new friends and began to prepare for our long journey home. From Florence we took the train to Milan where we spent one night and caught a morning flight to San Diego via Atlanta.

Vacations are exciting, but there is no place like home. I missed all my familiar surroundings; kitchen, family room and of course my bed, where I snuggle-in and dream about Italy.

Italian Adventure 2011, Part III

On day 14 we arrived in Florence after another tense drive through Northern Tuscany in the pouring rain. At this point we were just here for one night and meeting up with three other couples and our tour guide in the morning. We planned to return to Florence for a couple of nights after our Tuscany tour as we had been there before and do love the city.

After several complications… dropping off our car, finding our room, not being able to get into our room, we finally arrived frazzled and tired. Mark wanted to get something to eat and retire for the night. I however, wanted to see the Duomo.

Mark was more agreeable after a nice dinner and a little wine, and we strolled down to Piazza Duomo. The streets of Florence are very narrow and the buildings are tall, blocking the sun and any views of the city’s sights. When we stepped into the square the enormity of the cathedral took our breath away. We had forgotten the majesty and shear size of this incredible structure. We circled the cathedral, baptistery, and bell tower awed and speechless until we realized it was cold and we had an early wake up call.

                                                                             We met our guide, the charming and entertaining Salvatore, and the other couples at the train station. To our great relief, it turned out to be a friendly and fun group of people from three different areas of the US and we immediately hit it off. Next stop, Castello Delle Serre, a centuries old castle in the heart of Tuscany. Salvatore had purchased the castle 14 years ago and has been restoring it ever since. We had stayed there three years ago and were excited to be returning for an entire week with Salvatore, a knowledgeable historian, and his son, Antonio, as our guides.

We settled into our elegant room, had a quick lunch, and headed into the Tuscan countryside. Mark and I have toured many areas of Italy, but as soon as we arrived, we agreed that Tuscany is our favorite. There is something unique about this part of the world. The way the sun illuminates the landscape, the vineyards covering the slopes, the historic hilltop towns with their winding narrow streets, all combine to take you away from the modern world into history itself. There is a feel to this place that is like nowhere else.

With local residence as our guides (from left, my husband Mark, Salvatore, and Antonio), we were able to enjoy local restaurants, private wineries, and even private homes. We ate some dinners at the castle prepared by Sal and his family, which were fabulous and memorable. On our first full day of touring we were welcomed at the Dei Family Winery and even into their home for lunch. The Dei family fortune derives from their travertine quarries, and more recently, their winery. I was delighted to find them welcoming and warm as we toured the gardens (pictured below) and interior of one of their country estates. The meal was amazing, the wine delicious, and the company unforgettable. Once again we were living among the locals, in this case, the wealthy locals. What an experience!

Next week, part 4.

Italian Adventure 2011, Part II

            I was feeling really sad about having to say good-bye to Giorgio and Patrizia and the 5 Chimneys B&B until I switched my focus to our next destination, Bellagio, at beautiful Lake Como. Giorgio drove us back to Milan where we picked up a rental car and headed north to the lake country. Once we navigated ourselves through the town of Como we found the narrow, windy road leading to Bellagio. After an hour of hugging the mountainside and dodging the aggressive Italian drivers we arrived at our B&B exhausted and grateful to have survived the drive.

            Bellagio is an elegant, timeless village, with old villas nestled in meticulously manicured gardens, with stunning views of Lake Como, and the Alps that surround the lake.  We walked and walked exploring the gardens and shops, climbing the many stairs that are the streets in this hillside town. After nightfall the lake glowed in the light of a full moon. Romantic Lake Como, I am glad I got to know you.

            After 2 nights it was time to get back in the car. Luckily we were leaving by a different route, which was much less traveled and less stressful. Next stop Verona, the city of love. Actually we were staying at another hilltop town above Verona, San Giorgio, which sits in the middle of the Valpolicella wine growing area. The view from our room of the endless vineyards, turning yellow and gold, and Lake Garda in the distance, was peaceful and inviting. Each of these areas grows different types of grapes and makes their own varieties of wine unique to the area. Valpolicella produces red, rosé, and white. The rosés are often sparkling, and oh so refreshing. I really enjoyed the wine here.

             Verona itself has many medieval structures very much intact including a massive coliseum older then the one in Rome. It is still in use today as a venue for concerts and plays. The main attraction though is Juliet’s home and the famous balcony that Romeo used to visit Juliet in secret. Love is definitely in the air in Verona.

            Day 12 of our trip finds us once again in the car, heading to Parma, the city of food. Parmesan cheese, prosciutto as well as other types of ham are produced, and consumed in Parma. The locals seem to live on these foods. Breakfast, lunch and dinner all start with ham and cheese. The quality and freshness of the cheeses I especially appreciated, being the cheese lover that I am. I was in cheese heaven the entire trip. We visited a family who produce Parmesan and watched the entire process and sampled the finished product. This cheese is like nothing I had ever tasted. Like I said, Italy is cheese heaven.

            Next stop Florence, where we will meet up with our tour group and head to Castello Delle Serre, a medieval castle in Tuscany, and the highlight of our trip. Check back for Part III.

Italian Adventure 2011, Part I

           As some of you know my laptop was stolen in the early days of my vacation to Italy. Consequently there have been no blog postings as I had planned. It was the trip of my life and looking back I realize there are no words to describe what we experienced in Italy, however, now that I am back at my computer I will try.

I had been planning this trip for nine months to celebrate my husband, Mark’s, 60^th birthday. I like to get the most out of each of my vacation days, so I research travel websites, study maps, and plan every detail I possibly can in advance. When the day came to head to the airport, I was prepared and ready. There is no easy way for west coasters to get to Europe, so you grin and bare what ends up being a very long ordeal. We left home about 6 am, flew to Atlanta for a 2 hour layover, and arrived in Milan at midnight our time. There is a 9-hour time difference, so the local time was 9 am. That is the hard part. The good news is our host for the next 7 days was waiting to greet us with a warm smile and welcoming attitude.

I had gone out on a limb for this first week and booked us into the 5 Chimneys B&B in an off the beaten path area of Piedmont somewhere between Milan and Turin. The package included accommodations, breakfast and dinner prepared by Patrizia, our hostess, and private tours of the area by Giorgio, our host. With no car or any idea what was in store for us, we were totally in their hands. Giorgio was friendly and informative on the 50-minute drive to the villa and when we arrived Patrizia was at the gate to greet us.

 This charming, English speaking Italian couple welcomed us into their home, a 17^th century villa that they have restored in its original style, in the tiny village of Pozzenga. The village is in the middle of the Monferrato wine growing area. Our room on the 2^nd floor had views of the snow-capped Alps, vineyard covered hillsides, and the village below. Stunning! That afternoon Giorgio took us to the La Pavesa Winery, where he is part owner, and toured the vineyards with his partner, Franco, the winemaker. After the tour we tried all the amazing wines with local cheeses and meats, and we knew we had made a great choice in coming here. 

            We began each morning with Giorgio’s perfect cappuccinos and Patrizia’s delicious breakfast with something freshly baked each day. Then we headed off to explore Piedmont with Giorgio. We toured hilltop castles, the Barolo (wine of the kings) wine growing area, the historic city of Turin, and Lake Orta at the base of the Alps. The lack of tourists in this area is what made this such a memorable experience. We were able to live the actual lifestyle of the area, meet the locals and eat what they traditionally eat, everything fresh from the land. Wonderful!

            This area is known for black and the rare white truffles, so prized by chefs around the world. One morning we were picked up by a local truffle hunter and his highly trained dog and headed into the woods in search of the elusive truffle. I told you we were living the local lifestyle. The hunt was successful with 4 black truffles and 1 small white truffle. We turned them over to Patrizia who used them in sauces and on salads, which were out of this world. 

            On another afternoon our hosts invited us to join them at their church for the annual village concert. Of course we agreed and all walked up to the top of the hill. All the villagers were there and we met the local dignitaries including the priest and the mayor. We were not prepared when the sophisticated and accomplished musicians entered and took their seats. For such a small village we expected a more local experience. When the music began in this centuries old stone church with massive arched ceilings and amazing acoustics, we were hypnotized. We agreed later that we both felt like we had been transported back in time, or to another world. This was not a tourist attraction and we lost ourselves in the realness of it.

            The icing on the cake – the cake that was this week in Piedmont - was returning every evening to the B&B and being served a 5-star, gourmet, 4-course meal, prepared lovingly by Patrizia. She is an amazing cook using all fresh, local ingredients to make the traditional meals of the area. Giorgio chose the wine from his wine cellar, and we were wowed every night.

            As the week came to an end, we worried that the rest of our vacation would be a disappointment after the amazing week at 5 Chimneys. However nothing could be further from the truth. Check back in a few days for more about our Italian vacation.

Goodbye Summer

I greeted Autumn this morning on my walk through the neighborhood. Blue skies decorated with puffy white and gray clouds, a crispness in the air and even a sprinkle of rain awakened my senses. Our summer was abbreviated this year as the coolness of spring hung on through July, and I did not think I was ready for summer to be over when it had just begun, or so it seemed. I had not noticed the trees changing color before this morning but the yellow, red, and orange against the blue sky turned my thoughts to the coming season.

Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and our annual Autumn vacation are fast approaching. Yes summer is over but there is much to look forward to. Each season has its beauty and fall always turns my thoughts to hearth and home. Baking, sitting by the fireplace with a good book, the crunch of crackly leaves underfoot and planning for the upcoming holidays will all be on my mind once I return from this years vacation.

Summer for this year is history, but with all the pleasures of Autumn to look forward to, I no longer care. My husband and I are off to Italy in celebration of his 60^th birthday. We will be spending a few weeks casually exploring villages, wineries, castles and the countryside. I plan to post on this blog from different locations so if you want to follow along check back here once a week or so. Meanwhile enjoy the pleasures of Autumn in your area and summer will be back before we know it.