Houston in July?

Today I am making reservations to spend Thanksgiving with family 500 miles away. Thanksgiving? Already? Where did the summer go? It is true that time flies when your having fun, and a fun summer/fall it has been for me with 5 trips in as many months.

July found us in Houston, Texas. Who goes to Houston in July you may ask. We asked ourselves that when we received a wedding invitation from family we rarely see. I thought it would be a perfect opportunity to catch up with long distance relatives all in one place. I had to convince my husband who was not very enthusiastic to travel to a hot, humid, crowded town to be with people he hardly knew. We were both glad we made the effort.

 

Upon arriving in Houston, we were greeted with unseasonably cool weather and a welcoming party of my delightful cousins. All the out of town guest (and some locals) checked into a trendy downtown hotel where the reception was to take place. Every little detail was planned and executed to perfection. Even distant relatives were warmly welcomed and included in all the family events. What a joy to reconnect with cousins I rarely see and make new friends as we joined with the bride’s family. I wondered which family liked to party more and determined it was a toss up. It really was a spectacular event.

 Once again my theory of always making the positive choice is reaffirmed. I am so grateful for my extended family and now know that the effort to stay connected is more than worth it.

LIVE the Journey

Life is a journey. We travel along our personal journey every day. When a day is over, it is gone forever. We can never go back and relive that day. Each day is an important part of the journey. Live it for all it’s worth. Eleanor Roosevelt suggested, “Do one thing everyday that scares you.” What thought provoking advice. Jump off a diving board, or eat something you have never tried. Sign up as a volunteer and make a difference. Step outside the box that is your routine and experience a new world.

Our busy schedules keep us within the boundaries of our boxes. The best experiences could be outside the box. What is outside your box? It could be a new hobby, a new sport, or a new friend. Adventures are there for you to discover along your life path. Open your eyes and heart to them and make each day memorable.

Attitude is an important part of a life well lived. You may start house-cleaning day with a pity-party and write the day off as wasted. Or you can dive into your chores and be grateful for your health and ability to maintain a clean and organized home. You can take pride in your accomplishments and gain satisfaction from a job well done. Instead of categorizing housework, shopping and cooking as work, think of them as living.

Tomorrow morning as you open your eyes and ponder the day ahead, decide to do something different, something that will make the day unique and valuable. Make your life a journey of exceptional days and there will be no regrets.

Quote of the Week

“Our prime purpose in this life is to help others. And if you can’t help them, at least don’t hurt them.”

                        ~ Dalai Lama ~

It really is a simple concept. If we can introduce it to our brains, keep it there, act on it everyday, soon it will become natural. Small acts of kindness each day can change your life. Not to mention the people who receive your gift of caring. Helping an elderly neighbor by bringing a meal now and then, or offering to pick something up at the store for them is easy and could make their day. A simple phone call to someone who may be lonely could brighten their day while letting them know they are thought of. Take the time to consider your own family members. Do they need support or encouragement? We all need someone to lift us up when we fall, to offer a shoulder to cry on, and to cheer us when we succeed. Remembering to be that shoulder for the people around us can take the focus away from our own troubles.

The second part of the Dalai Lama’s quote reminds me of another quote that goes something like, “Just because you have a pain doesn’t mean you have to be one.” Some of us get cranky when we are in pain or suffering from chronic physical or emotional problems. It is no ones fault and should not be taken out on someone else, especially a caregiver. Complaining and criticizing usually does no good, while a little tenderness and compassion can work wonders. Think about our prime purpose in life, and we can make a difference.

Reaping Rewards

I am enjoying early retirement with my husband. Sometimes I feel guilty when most of our friends are getting up going to work on Monday morning and I can sleep in. It is wonderful to not have to be somewhere every morning after a lifetime of working hard. I love to read and have wished all my life for more time with my books, and now I have it!

Why do I feel guilty enjoying the freedom we planned and worked for? Together my husband and I saved and sacrificed throughout our working years so that we could be exactly where we are today. We did not buy new cars every time we got a raise. We did not wear expensive clothes or jewelry (well, some jewelry). Instead we put that extra income into our future. Now that the future is here, we will have to adjust to our new reality.

What we did not plan so specifically was how we would spend our time once we reached our goal of early retirement. We have always loved to travel and plan to do more, but the time between trips is what is so foreign to us. Waking up in the morning and thinking ‘I can do anything today’ can be overwhelming. Setting a goal and reaching it is to be rewarded. I am learning to sleep in and not feel guilty, to take breaks when I feel like it and to go play when I have the opportunity. I have to keep reminding myself that I have paid my dues and now my time is truly my own. I will use this time wisely and make the most of it.

Lately I have given in to my passion for reading. It is becoming somewhat of an addiction. I am neglecting the few things I still have to do like grocery shopping, meal preparation, and this blog for instance. All I want to do is read, one book after another. Maybe I will get my fill sometime soon and be able to focus more on the big world out there. For now, my book awaits.

Thought provoking passage from native American poet/author Linda Hogan

Walking, I am listening to a deeper way. Suddenly all my ancestors are behind me. Be still, they say. Watch and listen. You are the result of the love of thousands.

Missing Dad

Father’s Day brings to mind memories of my Dad who passed on twelve years ago. A World War II veteran, starting his family in 1950, he parented with a firm hand. But my siblings and I never doubted his love and protection. He was a great Dad when we were little, taking us to the beach, on camp-outs, to parks and museums. But as we became teenagers, he left most of the parenting to Mom. I don’t think he could relate to our adolescent shenanigans.

During the fifties and sixties, cigarettes and cocktails were all the rage. My parents were no exception and they smoked and drank along with all their friends. Eventually they gave up the cigarettes. Mom was never a big drinker but Dad continued to indulge in his cocktails, wine, and beer, depending on his mood. I think he was self-medicating to mask the pain and trauma of his own childhood. The depression, and the loss of  his mother at a young age, must have left scares. Enlisting and going off to war at 17 surely robbed him of any remaining youthful innocents. Dad never spoke of his time in the war or of  his childhood. I think it was painful and also considered unmanly to seek help or show emotional weakness. As long as he had his liquor, he was fine.

 

Towards the end of his life, Dad and I renewed our father/daughter relationship that had been strained for several decades. Our love of nature and sports brought us back together. While I lived in Alaska he visited and we explored the last frontier together. During football season we played Monday morning quarterback over the phone. I miss those phone calls most of all.

My father was imperfect, short tempered, and not always as supportive as he should have been. But he was my dad, and I miss him.

The Night the Lights Went Out

 I often find myself reminiscing about the simpler life we baby boomers enjoyed in our youth. We did not have all the modern conveniences, yet our lives were less complicated. When we had free time, we were really free. Free to go outside and explore nature, find the neighborhood kids and play a game, or stay in on a rainy day and play cards or board games with siblings. Young people today, whether indoors or out in the world, have their heads down with eyes glued to their iPads and smart phones, ears plugged with their iPods, rarely interacting face-to-face with anyone. I have tried, unsuccessfully, to impart on my own family the importance of living in the real (unplugged) world.

Last September San Diego and surrounding areas suddenly lost power one afternoon and news reports predicted it could be a long blackout. Not knowing how long we would be without power, we scrambled to find stores open to get ice and essentials. The freeways and roads were grid locked due to the lack of traffic lights and everyone in Southern California leaving work at exactly the same time. My husband and I gathered flashlights and candles and planned sandwiches for dinner.

The next day, after the power had been restored, I met my 24 year-old son for lunch. I know that he spends a lot of time on his computer and other electronic devices, and I asked him what he did during the outage. His reply surprised and delighted me.

“You know Mom, it was really cool. Everyone came outside.” He said. “It reminded me of the stories you tell us of when you were a kid. I was at a friends, and we brought our guitars out on the porch and all the neighbors would stop and visit as they strolled around in the moonlight. Everyone had a friendly attitude and seemed happy to be outside.”

I listened to others making this same kind of comment in the days after the blackout. People realized, if only for one night, that there is much to be gained from turning off our electronic devices and acknowledging the people around us. At least a night without electronics gave my kids a better understanding of my less complicated youth.